No, Neigh, Never

I have a horse named after me.

It's a weird, long-necked, three-legged horse drawn in orange crayon, but it is named after me.

This week we did letter Hh, and our animal was the horse. About three years ago, I made a horse poster with pictures of horses and ponies from the library's old Ranger Rick magazines and the kids always argue over which one was 'theirs' and wanted to know their names. So I had to make names up. (That one's Roscoe, that one's Dixie, that one's Charlemagne. They call him Charlie Horse for short.)

For an activity, I had them try to draw a horse and think of a name for it. One of them was named after me.



Get a load of the little Sleipner there. His name is Goonie.

The Beast What Stares

Formed from an unholy combination of orange and purple play-dough, this creature was given shape during a crumb pick-up from under the tables. Too contaminated to ever be allowed back in the bucket with the clean play-dough, but still malleable, it was granted eyes from the bead box. I'll let it dry and if anyone asks, I'll say it's a tailypo.

We had a huuuuge (by preschool standards) debate over what a tailypo looked like after I told them that story. Some thought it was a dinosaur, some thought it was a fox, some thought it was more like a tiger. The fact that we stayed on subject long enough for that is incredible for three and four year olds.

a waste of good suffering

This is hilarious to me…

I have to write a comparative paper on different psychologists for my Social/Emotional Development class and first up is E.L. Thorndike.

So far I’ve learned that he locked cats up into puzzle boxes to see how they escaped. Kind of a Schrödinger meets Hellraiser kind of a thing. Kind of. That image was funny enough by itself. Add to that how often the general chaos of working in a preschool is referred to is ‘herding cats’ and boom! Insight! Why bother keeping them in a herd when I can just funnel them into some sort of maze?

I can set up a lawn chair at a good vantage point and call down hints to the ones that can count to 20 or know their colors. They’re safe, active, and involved. It could work!

I haven’t read far enough to find if Thorndike suddenly disappeared and became a new paradox of his own. (Is he inside the cats? We won’t know unless we open them, but we won’t because every time we think it, all their yellow eyes focus on us and just burnnnnn…Has anyone else read Felidae?)

Speaking of focus, back to work.

pages turned, midnight oil burned

Finished City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers last night.

I… don’t know how to describe it. The cover compared the author to J.K. Rowling, Douglas Adams, Shel Silverstein, Monty Python and Terry Pratchett so how could I resist? But it started out strangely, so strangely that I was wondering if this was an adult or young adult book, and then I thought it was a children's book and then changed my mind again, because it teetered back and forth.

Then there were these weird black and white illustrations. They looked like a cross between Sandra Boynton and Edward Gorey and I kept thinking over and over ‘What IS this?’ After a few false starts, I finally settled in to read it and ended up staying up later than intended. It reminded me of those little snippets that you can sometimes write that might be something good if you had a whole story to go with it (I can’t be the only one that does that) only this is a whole story, 456 pages worth, made of all those snippets grafted together. (Page 148 was my favorite.)

Was it good? Of course it was. In fact it was about good writing. I could say it was about a dinosaur that wanted to be a writer, but by the time that becomes an issue, I had glossed it over. Fine, dinosour. In a city made of and revolving around books and their authors.

The only thing I can really say about it is that it is a book for readers who love books. Anybody who has ever savored the smell of a bookstore, new or used, or found a book they treasured in a box at a yardsale or the dust of a secondhand store, or lost hours and days to a gifted storyteller, or has felt the compulsion to tell a story of their own will feel familiar chords being struck all through this book.

...



Did I just write a book review?

Is that a rabbit over there?

In other news, I have given up working around the three year old attention span and am now making it work for me. A bus went by the window and you would've thought it was a Macy's parade float shaped like a unicorn with Hannah Montana's face, ridden by Transformers firing pixie stick cannons the way they screamed and flocked to the glass.

"A bus!" they screamed as if every wish of mankind had been suddenly, beautifully granted. "Teacher! A BUS!!!" Just like the ones you ride twice every day, I considered saying, but sarcasm is wasted on hysterical K3s.

"Uh-huh," I said. "Wow," I said.

"You're not even looking!" despaired one. Eternal rapturous joy had come and I wasn't even paying attention.

"Sorry," I said. "Doing this right now."

I was suddenly faced with the most belligerent of the flock, who was glaring at me.

"I can't BELIEVE you missed it," he growled. I had offended him, all his ancestors, and all future descendants. How dare I even have eyes if I was to so shamefully waste them.

"There's a picture of a cat on the wall," I said. His head whipped around like Linda Blair's.

"Where??"

"There by the calendar," I said, pointing, He forgot me, he forgot the bus, he probably forgot the rest of that day, but he did lure the herd away from the window to stare at the picture of the cat I got off Google images for Pet Week. Gotta love Google.

A Sure Sign I Stayed Up Too Late

I decided BPAL needed to make a line of scents for the Lost Boys, and since they probably weren't going to by tomorrow, I went ahead and made up some of my own. (Please note, I know exactly squat about mixing fragrances and some of the things I picked might be able to knock a wolverine off a month old moose carcass when combined. No disrespect to the folks at BPAL who actually know what they are doing. I'm just passing the time before morning.)

David
The leader of the Pack. Leather and night winds give form to the monster, blood, musk with a taste of wine, and Chinese spice.

Marco
Bright-eyed, brightly colored as a bird. Golden musk, citrus, and vetiver,

Paul
Leonine ferocity. Sandalwood, amber, and heavy musk with a touch of motor oil.

Dwayne
Still waters running deep and dark. Pennyroyal, moss, and cedar, over cool notes, like rare, deep laughter.

Laddie
Little child lost on the midway after the lights go off. Just a lingering taste of cotton candy over light pine, and rich orange.

Star
Brightness fallen into darkness. Lemongrass and white musk, with an almost forgotten whiff of innocence like peony.

Michael Emerson
Big brother with a reckless streak. Cedar and musk, with windblown tangerine.

Sam Emerson
Cedar and pepper, with some homesick vanilla stirred in.

Grandpa
Mellow, but deceptively so, with sharpness underneath. Cedar and clary sage, bergamot and sassafras.

Lucy
A boy’s best friend is his mother. Clean linen with yellow apple and green tea and sweetened with vanilla.

Nanook
The Protector. Oakmoss and cedar with undertones of musky leather.

The Frog Brothers
Edgar and Allen. Dry pages and midnight oil mixed with the scent of fresh wood shavings and chocolate.

Santa Carla
The Murder Capitol of the World. Warm and windy, the carnival atmosphere is all that holds back a primal fear of the dark. Dry, airy notes with black musk, festive cherry and orange highlights, too sweet candy, and bloody sawdust.

Max
King of the Wild Things. Mild-mannered dry pear and a lonely light musk with hungry undertones of blood and vetiver.

Thor
The Hellhound. Sharp musk and brimstone masked in a soft amber to hide its bite.

How did I get on this? Oh, yeah... I was watching the new Nightmare on Elm Street trailers and that got me thinking of the first scary movie I had ever seen which I think was Lost Boys (the first movie to make me hide my eyes was Raiders of the Lost Ark. I didn't want to see the big man get filleted by the airplane propeller and I was like, three. Maybe four. Little. But the first actual movie that was maybe meant to be scary and I watched by myself was Lost Boys and then after that I saw where BPAL had made a Hellboy line and I said "Why not a Lost Boys one? T'would be awesome!"

Ok. I have no excuse. I'm going to bed now.

Excellent use of a snow day:

Not that I’ll ever get one….



I need to bring Totoro in for my class on the next movie day. I didn’t see it until college, and that’s a shame. And more people need to see it so I won't have to explain things like "Why did that giant rabbit eat the smaller ones??" and "What's with that grin?" and most often, "What IS that??"

Now I’m all Depressed

All of my favorite characters die, and every movie I really like gets ignored at award time.

I knew Avatar would come swooping in, but Megan’s report on what was included and what was cast aside just makes me growl to myself.

Even when a movie I like wins something, it’s never the movie I liked best. In fact I never had a reason to cheer for award shows at all until the Lord of the Rings rolled out and even then it got seemingly(to me) random awards until the last movie. (Sound Editing? Who watches the Battle at Helm’s Deep and thinks ‘Hm! Nice sound editing?’)

Perhaps they took this to heart:


If only there was a way to channel all this fangirliness into a positive force for neglected awesomeness everywhere. Sigh.

Aren’t I too old for ‘late for class’ stress dreams?

I dreamed I was in some foreign country, trying to figure out the public transportation schedules so I could get to class on time. And once I made it to the school, I got derailed into the morning DnD session. They promised we’d be done in time for first period and started dragging out the props.

There were a lot of props.

Much more than I’ve ever seen in a tabletop game anyway. Like yard sale stuff. The best (worst?) one was a jabberwocky lamp that was completely hideous. I had to wonder where it showed up in the Monster Manual

Jabberwock Lamp

Hit Dice: 5d10+150
Initiative: +11
Speed: Cord length
Armor Class: 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+25
Special Attack: Frightful Presence, Grab, Rush, Swallow Whole, Bite, Claw, Bludgeon Intruder Over Head With
Special Qualities: Carapace, requires 70 watt bulbs, Legend status, Whimsical Poem
Abilities: STR 15, DEX 12, CON 10, INT 5, WIS 3, CHA 1 (See Flaw: TACKY), Search+9, Spot +17, Survival 5 (+10)
Skills: Illuminate, Reading Improvement, Flame Eyes, Jawsbite, Clawsnatch, Whiffle, Burble
Environment: Tulgey Wood near Tumtum Trees, on end tables near plugs
Treasure: lightbulbs
Alignment: neutral


^ See that? Now imagine that with a lampshade sticking out of its back, sitting on your night stand, watching you sleep. Awful.

Does anyone else have conversations like this?

Mom: (completely out of nowhere) Will you be good to me when I’m in a nursing home?
Me: Uh… I guess…?
(there’s a pause where we both laugh)
Me: I always assumed you wouldn’t go to one.
Mom: What, you’d kill me before then?
Me: Wha?
Mom: I don’t think you or your sisters have it in you to smother me with a pillow.
Me: (giggling) Ohhh, I don’t know… We might summon up the strength, along with some bad memories from childhood…
Mom: (also laughing) Nope. You don’t have the guts.
(we’re both hysterical for a minute)
Me: Have you had this conversation with Dad? Questioned his stomach for killing?
Mom: (still laughing, shakes head.)
Me: Maybe if you were a skunk!* (and then we both howled with laughter.)

*My poor father has been under siege from the local skunk clans. Not as stealthy as ninjas, but in their own way, just as bad.

I'm thinking of redoing the room in a nice rubber padding.

We've had bloodshed two days in a row down in the preschool.

Yesterday, a coat being threshed went wild and the zipper nicked a very small cheek. There was some very small blood that required a very small band-aid. There was also what I suspect was an already badly chapped lip freezing to a cold bus window and getting yanked off, resulting in a ghoulish mess. Both victims were pretty stoic for three year olds and it was taken care of with minimal drama.

Today, though, there was a bludgeoning. We have some of those wooden blocks with the metal snaps on them. The kids like to make block-robots and walk them around jerkily, saying "I.AM.A.ROBOT." I ask for the directives and they have to come up with a function. My favorite was the waving robot.

Child: "I.AM.A.ROBOT."

Me: "Greetings! What is your directive?

Child: "Uh....Oh! I.AM.A.WAVING.ROBOT. I. WAVE.AT.YOU." and then he wiggled the little arm at me. I laughed and laughed. I loved Wall-E after all.

Today though, not so funny. One little guy,(this same one, actually) wielding one of these blocks, friggin' clubbed his cousin across the back of the head with it. I broke it up and made him apologize, but the cousin didn't stop crying so I checked his head for owies. I thought his black hair was just sweaty until I realized there was red on my fingers. The poor kid had a bleeding gash across the back of his skull.

I feel so bad when they get hurt on my watch! I suppose I could bubble-wrap the room and make them wear those little straitjacket/mitten ensembles, but then they would be miserable too. I guess we all have to get tough and stay vigilant.

The Fan Fiction Personality Test

Silliness to start a Thursday.

Your result for The Fan Fiction Personality Test...

The Mindgamer

Everything is possible, nothing is ever really over.

Fanfiction is a creative outlet for you. You don't intentionally write it, it just happens. You find inspiration in several fandoms, but are not obsessed with only one.

You like to explore "what if" situations. What if this character had never made this very choice? What if this event had taken place sooner, never, elsewhere? What if these people had never met?

You are likely to write Alternative Universes, fan seasons or sequels and just follow your (sometimes pretty strange) plot bunnies.

Take The Fan Fiction Personality Test at OkCupid

"Darkness is cheap, and Scrooge liked it."

Stumbled over this whilst bloghopping.

It has David Tennant frolicking around as the most adorable Ghost of Christmas Present ever. I would now like to nominate Samuel Elliott as the Ghost of Christmas Past, and Ron Perlman as the Ghost of Christmas Future. Yes.

And a random thought: Why wasn't Paranormal Activity in 3D? If they can do crappy horror movies in 3D, why not one that's actually supposed to be scary? Why not Alien? Facehuggers in 3D could damage me beyond all repair.

On the other hand, Invader Zim would be so fun in 3D! Or Dark City! And in other 'wouldn't it be cool?' thoughts, I think Pixar's next movie should be The Underneath by Kathi Appelt. It's got everything, sweetness, bittersweetness, cute animals, scary animals, beauty, humor, awe, heartbreak, history, mystery, promises that will not be broken, and the bonds of love and family. Throw in some songs and it's magic!

Kindle = Sapient Pearwood of Books.

If only it ate people that annoyed me on planes.

All the books I've read so far have really long titles.

Two of them were bought in the clearance sales and the other two were purchased in airports for my Kindle Book of Holding. I'm going to have to be careful not to go too overboard with that thing. It's almost instantaneous new book at the touch of a button and it's not until I get to my email that I get the reminder that yes, those books do cost money, real money, not just the digital kind.

Back in Barrow now, I think I could've lived with another day or two of vacation. Maybe just half days to kinda ease into the first week back. No such luck though. Seems a little unfair that the schools back home are all closed due to freezing temperatures and we've had freezing temperatures since October and no days off for it! I'm such a whiner.